Seven Keys to a Lasting Marriage

A few days ago my husband and I celebrated our twenty-seventh wedding anniversary. Every year we dine at an exclusive restaurant where we can enjoy an excellent meal coupled with great service. The best part of our evening, however, is the time we spend together reflecting over what God has done in our lives, and just how far we've come.  I won't go into details here, but I share our story in my book Pray-ers Bear Fruit.  I am amazed by the testimonies I hear from those whose lives have been impacted by the book, but God is using our story to impact and restore marriages.  Hearing the testimonies makes it worth all that we endured.

Over the past few months people have said things to me like, "Your life seems so perfect", or "You have a great life".  And I'll admit that my life is wonderful, but it hasn't always been.  Hearing their comments caused me stop and take a deeper look at what others are seeing, and when I did, I discovered why they made such statements.  These people were witnessing the luscious fruit that has come from years of prayer. Psalm 126 is one of my favorite passages, and it has given me so much encouragement over the years.  I always quoted verse five as a reminder that hard times don't last forever. 

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. Psalm 126:5

Prayers are the seeds we plant today so that we can enjoy an abundant harvest tomorrow.  When we don't pray out our future, we continue to experience the same issues day after day and year after year, and we never get to the place where we are enjoying the abundant life that Jesus purchased for us with the high price of His blood.  I'm a firm believer that anything is possible through prayer.  God can take the worse situation and turn it into something so beautiful that there is no remaining residue of what existed before.  Just like with the three Hebrews boys in the fiery furnace, God can bring us out of the fiery trials we face without even the smell of smoke upon us (See Daniel 3:27).

 If you are struggling in your marriage or are planning to get married one day, these simple yet powerful keys are like weapons of mass destruction against the enemy who wants to still, kill, and destroy marriages.  If we do marriage God's way, our marriage will last!

7 Keys to a Lasting Marriage

1. Never speak the word DIVORCE out of your mouth.  If you want your marriage to last, you can't throw that word around loosely or use it to threaten or scare your spouse into shaping up.  The devil is waiting to grabs those words to use against you your marriage.

2.  Never go to bed angry at your spouse. Doing so gives the devil room to work in your relationship. See Ephesians 4:26

3.  Be quick to forgive, and to ask for forgiveness whenever necessary.

4.  Talk things out.  Good communication is vital to having a strong marriage.  When we gain understanding, by seeing things from our spouses perspective we are empowered to overcome any situation.

5.  Always remember you're on the same team.  Your spouse in not your enemy!

6.  Submit to one another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21).  Remember submission is not something we agree to do if our spouse is perfect, or if they deserve it.  Submission is as unto the Lord.  It's not for the purpose of being walked upon or used and abused,  it's about your obedience to the Word of God. And when you obey God, He sees to it that you come out on top of the situation.

7.  Pray without ceasing.  Praying the Word of God over your marriage and family makes all the difference in the quality of life you will experience.

Remember, change comes when you make a decision that you've had enough of your current situation. I've discovered that many people want the results without putting in the work.  And sometimes people are jealous or envious of what another person has, but they haven't gone through what that person has gone through to get to where they are.  We like another person's glory, but we don't know their story. Consider a couple who has prayed and gone through a series of counseling sessions and put in the work to have a good marriage, then another married person looks and wants the same kind of marriage but they are not willing to work for it. We must be willing to put time and effort into our marriages, both through natural and spiritual means in order to reap the benefits.  For there is no partiality with God (Romans 2:11).  What He does for one, He will do for the other.

Do you want a better marriage?   Has something gone terribly wrong, and you can't even talk about it without shedding tears? Whatever it is, God can fix it.  Remember all change starts with a decision.  When we make up our minds that we've had enough, and we cry out to God for help, the process of change will begin.

Always remember Pray-ers Bear Fruit!

Kathy